The other night I watched a DVD of Gilbert & Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance. A wonderfully silly effort featuring a wonderful lyrical parody of inept authority in the throes of self-pity. It was titled "A Policeman's Lot Is Not A Happy One." How could I not attempt to put this into a present-day market context?
A Banker's Lot Is
Not A Happy One
When the market takes a most unseemly beating.
And investors watch their futures slide away,
There's a tendency these losers to start bleating,
And to claim we bankers did their faith betray.
With this feeling we have gotten most familiar,
Watching all this whining for us ain't no fun,
Still we can't say: "knock it off the loss won't kill ya,"
Oh, a banker's lot is not a happy one.
We have a lending business to be run,
To be run.
Oh, a bankers lot is not a happy one.
Our past enterprising efforts were rewarded,
Credit cards' high interest rates did profits stoke,
With fees and fines we extra gravy courted,
Who could guess this would leave lots of people broke.
Borrowers in bankruptcy, that ain't no fun,
Oh, a banker's lot is not a happy one.
Nowadays for bailouts we are a'queue-ing
To the government we make a simple pitch
Fill our coffers or quite soon you'll be a'rue-ing
'Cause you'll find depressions are a real bitch.
Cough it up and realize that done is done,
Make our banker's lot again a happy one,
A happy one.
*****
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